alt_harry | Private Message to Granger

So.

I know you've got

you know

people. And you talk. And you're friends. And that's okay. It's good. I think it's a good thing that you have things that you... you know, that you keep yours.

I just

Look. Okay. How much does Finch-Fletchley know about me? Because he sort of has to know about why Sinbad was coming. And I guess if I know about him and Sinbad it's okay he knows something about me, but ~~it's not like I decided to tell him or anything and~~ I guess I sort of want to know how much ~~your friends~~ he knows and I don't want you to think you can't talk about things or anything but

yeah.

Pans says he's worth knowing. And I guess we've got some things in common I didn't know before. So there's that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

alt_hermione

He is worth knowing. I think you ought to ask him what he knows, because I don't really know what Sinbad might have told him. I think he knows (because Sinbad would have said) your real name and that your parents were S's friends. And he knows that you're not--that you treat me--better than most would do, let's say.

F-F didn't come here for the reasons most people think he did--I mean, I think it was a little more about Hydra than most people believe but it wasn't just her, it was things to do with Sinbad and what he's trying to do, and he has his reasons for feeling that way but it's better if you get to know him and ask him yourself, really.

But don't feel badly that we arranged it so you could each have time alone with Sinbad, either. It actually worked out perfectly, Draco and Pansy telling him and Hydra to come up the hill like that. And now you've a new photograph--well, an old one but you know what I mean, new to you.

Harry, if you're feeling jealous, don't. F-F may know Sinbad but it's not the same thing at all. It's more like how you feel about Professor Lestrange, only not even as much. S wouldn't come all the way here just to see F-F, he didn't even know F-F knew he was here, we surprised him with it. He came to see you. And I don't know if you know it but he gets Apparation sickness, too, but he did it anyway. It's even his birthday tomorrow (today, really, I suppose) but he did it because there was a chance he could see you. Just think--all that and all the risk, but he wanted to do it so you could talk to him.

So I hope you really talked! but even if you didn't he would have done it because he's trying to be like a real parent for you, for your parents since they're not here anymore. Which is

Well. It's really--important.

From:

alt_harry

I wasn't that jealous. I don't guess. Maybe. It was just sort of weird. Because there are people I know I can tell things too, and trust, really trust, and he wasn't one of them.

And Hydra

I've told some things to her, I guess, I mean, she knows a lot more about me than some people, but it's not like I would've thought

so it just sort of was weird. That's all.

From:

alt_hermione

Yes, I know it's got to be a shock, learning what other people know or don't know or believe or don't believe but I think part of the problem is that you can't do the things you're meant to do all by yourself, alone.

From:

alt_harry

I'm the one that has to

you know.

And I'm just

I'm just me.

And you and Draco and other people at school, I mean, look at us. What could we ever do that would really matter? Maybe in like twenty years. Maybe. When we're stronger. And have charge of things.

it just seems like too much sometimes.

From:

alt_hermione

But you don't have to do it alone. And you can't, anyway, because it is too big for just one person, Harry.

Look at what you've already done. You saved Hydra. You saved Sinbad, too, and the others that night (Mr Mac and Mr Moony and Mr S, I mean). And Pansy and Draco. You've already defied V once. I know you can do it and we can figure out how.

And remember what Professor B has told you, too.

Besides, it's not like there's a specific time and place like an Arithmantic exercise. Maybe it isn't supposed to happen until you're stronger and older.

From:

alt_harry

Okay.

Mr Moony. Good one. I'd forgotten about him.

You're right. There's more than just us. It just seems sort of mad sometimes that lots of people think I'm such an important part of whatever's going to happen. That's all.

We have done a lot, when you put it like that.

I guess I didn't think about it as defying. But you're right. Like what the thing says my mum and dad did.

And I've got you. To help me sort out how. Because I'm definitely not going to be able to do that on my own, and you're brilliant.

From:

alt_hermione

We'll all sort it out.

How was the butterbeer with Katie?

From:

alt_harry

It was nice.

She was nice.

It was... normal. In a really good way, I mean.

From:

alt_harry

While we're talking about what people believe and don't believe.

If it's okay, I mean.

Can you tell me anything about Longbottom?

Because his mum and dad are in the picture. Right by mine. And Sinbad. And I guess I didn't really know that they were all in it together. Because people talk all the time about his parents, and Sinbad, and what they did, but I don't guess I knew that mine did that sort of stuff too. Not really.

From:

alt_hermione

Yes but probably not here, just in case?

He's also good to trust.

From:

alt_harry

Draco doesn't.

At all.

But I guess things are sort of different now than they were two years ago. In terms of what we've sorted out that needs doing.

I don't think he still knows what to think about that bit though.

From:

alt_hermione

Well. Longbottom and Draco both tend to see things in very stark terms of black and white, even when they know it's not that simple, and I think they both have ideas about the way the world is--and where each other fits into that world--that might not be as true as they think. But sometimes ~~Nev~~ L can be really opinionated about what's right and what's wrong, and that can rub people the wrong way, particularly when what he's saying is morally wrong is also the thing that's probably the best option. (And if you think about it Draco can be almost the exact opposite sometimes, so I can see why they'd misunderstand each other a lot. But I think if they looked beyond each other's parents they'd be better off.)

From:

alt_harry

Still. Good to know.

From:

alt_harry

We did talk. And I'm

I know how much he risks every time we see each other. I think it's hard sometimes, just because he has all these ideas of how things ought to be, and I feel sometimes like I'm disappointing him because I don't

I don't know.

I wish we could've been normal. Like what Finch-Fletchley had. Eating dinner together. Talking about books we've read. Talking about random stuff that isn't important at all.

It would've been nice to know him without all the danger and the truths and the prophecy. That's all. Because really? It's been some letters and a few hours. So yeah. Maybe a little.

I guess I'd rather have what I have than nothing at all.

From:

alt_hermione

Oh, Harry, you don't understand, if he's disappointed it's not in you, it's because he wants the same thing and he knows there's no time to make that happen. It's probably always going to be a little bittersweet. But if you want to talk to him about books and dinner and random things he'd be happy to hear about it.