Private Message to Raz

[alt_harry]

Hi.

How's Spencer?

I was thinking maybe we could go flying sometime or something. Just to get outside for a bit. If you're not busy, you know, being married and everything.

Comments

[alt_harry]

He didn't tell me much of anything.

I just thought

Well, okay, last time he tried to make me kill someone. And hold an object that was special. And Professor Dolohov said that's what happens when you're trying to save a bit of your soul.

That's what He did, wasn't it?

Only Professor Dolohov really didn't say how it works, really. Or how you come back after. And I guess I figured He had me there this time for a reason. And that's the only one I could really come up with.

Insurance.

Because that's what I am, isn't it?

[alt_rabastan]

No, that isn't what you are.

And none of us knew why you were there at the time, know that, first and foremost.

But now that we've discussed it, Tosha and I...Yes, we think it's possible that you were going to be His backup plan, had the ritual gone awry.

I wouldn't have let that happen. Not while I was still alive, anyway.

[alt_harry]

Oh. Really? You'd

That's

That's good to know.

I mean I figured out the backup plan part but I didn't know if you knew or not.

[alt_rabastan]

It's like I told you- no one is really in on His plans, not the ones that He prizes most.

I can see why you'd think we were, though.

[alt_harry]

Yeah.

Well.

If you find out about stuff like what he wanted me to do to Umbridge, you know, I'd like to know about it.

Before it gets the way it got this term.

You know. If you can.

[alt_rabastan]

Yes, I know you would.

[alt_harry]

You're damn right I would.

If you know I'm supposed to kill someone, and that's the only reason why that someone is allowed to stick around and nearly destroy the bloody school and send two of my classmates to their deaths, I want to know about it.

[alt_harry]

Sorry.

Sorry.

It's just messed up.

Really messed up.

[alt_rabastan]

And if you had known, what would you have done.

Killed her sooner?

[alt_harry]

I would have known what was expected of me.

I would have sorted out what I could do about it.

And yeah, maybe I would have killed her sooner. Or sorted out another way to take out her teeth.

I thought when you said that I had leniency, He wanted me to show a bit of backbone.

[alt_rabastan]

Harry, I get your point.

But if you spend all your days thinking about what you could have done, if only you'd known this, or had that... you'll make yourself mad.

I'm not in the habit of sending kids off to kill, and I'm not about to start, and I'm not going to apologise for it.

[alt_harry]

Okay.

I know you want to keep me safe.

But there's a difference between keeping me safe and keeping me from knowing stuff. Even if maybe I can't do a lot about it.

If it comes down to it, I'd rather know about what's going on than not. That's all, I guess.